Relationships typically start with excitement and butterflies. We can’t wait to be around our partner. When they speak, we listen to every word. We want to know them. We pay attention and enjoy their stories. But too often, over time, we lose this sense of wanting to know them. We get comfortable and think we already know who they are. But doing this, can be a surefire way to make your relationship become stale. As research shows that relationships thrive when we maintain an open and curious mindset.
It’s been stated that it’s important to continue dating your partner. And a large part of dating them involves being curious about who they are. Here are 7 ways you can stay curious about your partner:
Be curious about what they say
Always remember that you don’t know what they’ll say. You might have an idea, but you can be wrong. So it’s better to just listen. Pay careful attention to what they say, so you can completely understand them. This means putting down your phone and looking at them. I know you might say that you can multitask, but you might miss something important in the process.
Be curious about their thoughts
You don’t know your partners thoughts. After being with them for some time, you may have a better understanding of them and what their thinking. But you’ll never know their thoughts unless they tell you. So let them tell you. Ask them about their thoughts and never assume.
Be curious about their feelings
Sometimes we choose not to express our feelings. But don’t let that stop you from better understanding how your partner feels. Pick up on whether they might be holding something back, and ask them about it. This is a component of emotional intelligence. There’s a significant relationship between curiosity and emotional intelligence. And research has shown that having emotional intelligence relates to how satisfied both you and your partner are in your relationship.
Be curious about their needs
Even if you’ve had a conversation about each of your needs in the beginning of the relationship, your needs can change over time. So don’t assume you know what they need; if you’re not sure, ask instead.
Be curious about their day
One of the easiest ways to connect with your partner is to ask about their day. Although you may think they have the same mundane day or you might not be completely interested in their line of work, it’s helpful to connect on a daily process over what happens to them. You don’t have to go in depth about what’s happening at work, as some people prefer not discussing work issues at home, but you can give them the opportunity to share what they’d like about their day.
Be curious about their dreams and goals
Talk with them about their goals and dreams. It’s also a good way to find out whether your goals are aligned and create shared goals. You can also use this as an opportunity to provide support and inspiration.
Be curious about their body language
Sometimes we have feelings that aren’t expressed verbally but come out in our body language, so instead of assuming how your partner is feeling or just letting it go, ask them about their body language.
A large part of maintaining curiosity is truly being present with our partner, asking them questions and not assuming. It may sound simple, but we don’t always do it. This one thing, maintaining curiosity in your partner, can strengthen your relationship. So let’s commit to being curious about our partners each day.